Rasa nak menangis..

I was reading a malay novel called Gelora Kasih..
It was about a girl named Siti Zulaikha who is an orphanage..
He's being matchmade by his boss, Tengku Suraya who loves her so much with her son, Tengku Zharif Iskandar..
Finally they got married..
Initially, Iskandar doesn't like her..
He did so many thing (more to psyco torture)..

And i was so attracted with Siti Zulaikha who's being described by writer as a patient, soft spoken & strong hearted woman..
As i finished the first half of the book, i did my analysis..
(tetiba jer buat puisi sendiri)..
As if i am in Zulaikha shoes..

Rasa mcm nak nangis..
Sangat2..
Setelah aku tertanya2, aku rasa aku dah tau apa jawapannya..

Dari apa yg aku baca, dari apa yg aku tgk..
Mmg aku bukan pilihan sebenar..
Im not into the standard yet..
That's y im rejected..

Selama ni, aku jer yg terhegeh2 agaknya..
Xpelah, aku ikhlas bila mencinta..
Xpernah sedetikpun ingin mempermainkan..

Mungkin itu bukan alasan sebenar..
Tp apakan daya, aku bukan sesiapa..
Biarlah, hanya aku tahu apa yg aku rasa..
Kerana aku sgt mencinta & aku menjadi diri aku yg sebenar..

Air mata dah jatuh berjurai dah pun..
Hati, tolong lah tenang..