Ramadhan 1430H

1 Ramadhan 1430H

I'll remember this for whole of my life. I broke up fr my relationship with my 1st love, Mr. Kamarul Izham Musa. I thought, he was the one who Allah created for me. But unfortunately, he's not. Only Allah know's how my heart broke.

I still remember, how we met. I saw him 'viewed my profile' at Friendster in July 2006. But i ignore him. 1 week later, i chatted to one of his former housemate name Palie. All went well that time. Few days after that, Palie online again, but suprisingly, he didn't buzz me. So i juz ignore him. Few minutes later, Palie buzzed me. But, i was a bit suprised when he asked, "Awak ni siapa yer?". I wondered y he asked me that question though we chatted few days ago. Then i said to him, "Awak xingat ke? kite chat few days ago". He replied, "Owh, sorry, sy bukan Palie, sy housemate Palie, Kamarul. Sy guna nick dia". No wonder.

Then he said he wanted to offline & signed in with his own nick. I waited for him, then suddenly a nickname called kamarulkim83 added me. We chatted quite long hour with him. I find him really down to earth, honest & sincere. Something made me wanna have some chat with him more & more.

After several time chatted tru YM & Friendster, he finally asked me to meet him. I still remember, he was supposed to go to Johor, he got BTN course there. He emphasized on meeting me eventhough he juz got back from Johor & i know he was really tired that time. But because he insisted, so i agreed. Actually, i am not really into him that time. Coz i got another choice of guy who cucuk jarum me that time. :)

9 September 2006. I still remember. He came with his housemate motorcycle he borrowed. I pretended that i got nothing, got no car all. I ride the motor with him. I don't know why, after i saw his face, i think something happened to my heart. It beat faster than usual. There's something about this guy that attracted me.

We went to Hakim Baru Seksyen 7. Not really talk. He's shy i guess. Also pendiam. Only me talked a lot that time. After a while, i asked to leave & went back. He said ok, he paid for my drink. He sent me back. He went back to his house. After i arrived house, i decided to text him saying thanks. I got a feeling that he wouldn't want to reply my text but luckily he replied & said he already arrived home safely.

From that moment, we were getting close. He's really nice, gentle, patient & treated me well. He was with me all the time during hard & easy time. Me too, whenever he got sick, i sent him to clinic. He asked me to send him to office, i did that. We were really lost in our own sweet world. We getting so close during Ramadhan 1426H (2006). He brought me to sahur if i didn't have any food at my rental house. Then i brought him to bazar Ramadhan everyday to buy buka puasa together.

But, 1 Ramadhan 1430H, everything was not going to be the same again. He totally changed. I already noticed that he changed these 3 month lately. He's not the 1 that i knew on 2006. I don't know. He said that i am a hot tempered person & like to sulk a lot. He can't stand with my attitude. Or else, he got new woman, who know rite?

So, this is me now. I am single & hoping for the best in my life in future. Being dumped with a man that i really love. But its ok, my friends are with me. One quote that really inspire me, "Allah tarik nikmat yg sedikit untuk berikan kita nikmat yg lebih besar". As for now, i am happy being a single lady eventhough i am 26 (going to be 27 already) & all my good friends already happily married & engaged, but who care. As long as i don't bother anybody, that its fine for me.

But, deep down from my heart, i really hope that i will find a better guy. Who can accept me as i am. Who can guide me world & hereafter. insyaAllah.